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I'd live life in the fast lane, but I am married to a speed bump.

Generally, you ain't learnin' nothing when your mouth's a-jawin'

Two people are talking on the phone long distance. One is in an East Coast state of the U.S., the other is in a West Coast state of the U.S. The first asks the other, "What time is it?" He hears the answer and says, "That's funny. It's the same time here!" Neither one of them were mistaken about the time. How is this possible?

Now, if Theophilus Thadeus Thistledown, The succesful thistle-sifter, Thrust three thousand thistles through the thick of his thumb, See that thou, while sifting a sieve-full of unsifted thistles, Thrust not three thousand thistles through the thick of thy thumb.

Pencils could be made with erasers at both ends, but what would be the point?

What you do today can improve all your tomorrows.
Author: Ralph Marston