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A man was prosecuted.  The judge asked him, "Don't you need a lawyer?"  
To which he replies, "No, I don't need any, I'm going to tell the truth."

Before you talk - listen.

What is the next 3 letters in this riddle? o t t f f s s _ _ _

Give me the gift of a grip-top sock, A clip drape shipshape tip top sock. Not your spinslick slapstick slipshod stock, But a plastic, elastic grip-top sock. None of your fantastic slack swap slop From a slap dash flash cash haberdash shop. Not a knick knack knitlock knockneed knickerbocker sock With a mock-shot blob-mottled trick-ticker top clock. Not a supersheet seersucker rucksack sock, Not a spot-speckled frog-freckled cheap sheik's sock Off a hodge-podge moss-blotched scotch-botched block. Nothing slipshod drip drop flip flop or glip glop Tip me to a tip top grip top sock.

Whoever invented "Knock-Knock" jokes should get a "No-bell" prize

There is nothing stronger in the world than gentleness.
Author: Han Suyin